My Son Has ADHD vs. Impulsive Behavior Disorder

I have just discovered that my son has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) vs. Impulsive Behavior Disorder. I was shock to know that my son has this problem. He is in the first grade now; soon to be in second grade. When my son was in pre-kindergarten, his teacher had to call me; two to three times a week, for me to talk to my son in order for him to calm down. Some times I had to go to the school to get him or to settle him down. I was not aware of the signs when he was younger; I only thought that he was just an active child that needed a lot of attention. My son kindergarten year was pretty much the same, except that he had gotten older and his behavior had changed. The behavior patterns of my son had become more violent and unacceptable; according to the school Board of Education. Now that my son is in the first grade and is now seven years old, I have more problems with the school than ever before. My son has been suspended from school more than once; he has been in a lot of fights, in and out of school. It has even gotten to the point wherein that his teachers will call me before noon to come and pick him up, due to his behavior. The school that my son attends; told me that I would have to come and sit in the classroom with my son for the whole day, in order for him to stay in school. I thought that it was very ridiculous for me to sit in his classroom for the entire day. I felt very disappointed and very upset with the school and especially his teachers.

My son is a smart little boy, he makes excellent grades and he is very intelligent. If I have lost something; I can count on my son to find it or try his best to find what ever it is that I have lost. My son has this urge to please, the things that he does is often to make some one happy; or to gain approval for something that he has done, or for something that he think wants to be done. Even when my child is in school, he tries to gain approval from his teachers and his peers. The thing is; when he tries to accomplish something and it has not been approved by the ones whom are around him; he gets very angry and often looses control; of the things that he says, as well as with the things that he does. In school, the result of his behavior is that he often gets sent to another class and even suspended from school. At home, the result of my son’s behavior; is that he is placed into time out and sometimes isolation in his room without activities. However, that tactic (him being isolated) is not effective. In isolation he destroys things from; the walls to the floors and from the curtains to his personal belongings. Most of the time, the things that he destroys are costing me a lot. My son has this thing that he does, which is very (to me) disturbing; being that I have to spend extra money for the things that he destroys. When my son is bored, he bites on his clothes and gnaws them until they are completely ruined.

His behavior at home can be dealt with, because I figure that I am his mother and I know what is best for him. I may be in denial, but I do not think that nothing is wrong with my son. I believe that all he needs is a little more attention from me. My son, as well as my other children, has been through a lot through out the past five years. The doctors and the school officials do not know what my son (my family) has been through. They just want to diagnose him with this disorder and put him out of school; because they do not know how to deal with him or better yet, handle him while he is in school. Therefore, they call me or either put him out of school. The past five years has been hard for all of us. It all started with me, I was an addict and I used while I was pregnant with my daughter, my son’s younger sister. My habit was detected by the social services, so they placed my children in the home with my mother. Therefore, my five children had to live with my mother for about a year. This was very devastating to both me and my children. Their fathers were never around, however, my son father was around for a couple of weeks, and then he decided to leave once again, which really had an impact on my son’s life. A few years later, after I have gotten my children back into my custody, I became pregnant again; this time with twins, a boy and a girl. Then, very unexpectedly; my daughter of my twins, died. That also played a big part in our lives, because we had to deal with that as well. Now I have gotten married and my husband is neither of their fathers, so this too has an effect within there lives. This is why I feel that my son does not have a problem; he just merely needs more attention from me. My other children as well, may have the same desires, but my son expresses the need to have more so, than my other children.

I know that once I give my son the desired attention that he needs to function completely, he will be okay. I am just recovering from all of the stress that my family has been through as well, however I feel that I have the need to provide for my children and take care of them at all cost. How am I going to do so? I must have patients and wait for the Lord. God is really working on a miracle here and HE is starting with me. I know that I can not do anything on my own; I have tried several times and nothing seemed to work, everything went wrong. So now, I am patiently waiting. There are still some things that I need for my self and for my family; in order to accomplish these things that I so desperately want to do, in order to help my son. But, I can not move if I do not know where it is that I am going. It is the little things that I would like to do with my children and especially with my son. I wish to do things like; signing my son up to play football as well as softball. I wish to be there with him every step of the way, to allow him to know that; I am and will always be there for him. When my son was born, he and I had a bond that was unbreakable. I believe that he knew that there was something special there and it was broken by me; when I decided to use. So he had experienced separation from the one that he loved; his mother. Then when his father came and gone; once again he had experienced separation, this time from his father. His little sister died; whom which he loved so dearly, lead to him experiencing another separation from the ones he loved. To me, I believe that my son acts out when we gets to close to people. Meaning, he would not allow himself to become too attached to people because of the fear of them leaving him; which is completely understandable. He does not know how to react to the situations; therefore, he acts in a negative way to protect his feelings and his heart. 

The concern is not that my son has this disorder. The issue at hand is the question behind the disorder. For every action, there is a reaction and for every reaction there is an action. Something that some body has done, something that brings excitement or force is the action of a situation. The reaction is an emotional, active (opposing action), physical or bodily response, to which a person encounters from a situation (an action). I do not want to only know that my son has this problem; I (as his mother), want to know that he has this problem and I also want to know how can I fix it or make it better. Even so, take it away. My theory has come to the conclusion that; it can be taken away and that this disorder, does not have to be. I am going to prove my theory; for the sake of my son and for the sake of others dealing with the same concern that I am dealing with; My Son Has ADHA vs. Impulsive Behavior Disorder.